The Clouds After The Storm
Inner Reflections of the Current Landscape
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Looking up at the clouds after the rains, the sun rose slowly, tickling the edges of each white and grey fluffy shape with rays of yellow, soft purple, and Camellia pink. The clear background was an explosion of beauty, splashed with gentle shades of gradient blues. As I welcomed the medicine of the sky, I was reminded of our own individual and cultural rainstorms, or rather I might say as of recent, typhoons. The clouds after the storm remind me of the ancient practices of reading the leaves of tea in a cup. It is only after the swirling vortex of the steeping commotion, when the deluge of water is removed and the leaves slowly settle to the bottom, when the winds of the storm become sweet again and the sky crystalline, that we often fully comprehend the turmoil of our experiences.
What if, though, the storm has never really settled on a collective level?
Throughout our past human narrative, heightened polarity has shown the slippery slope of illusion, clouding truth. The grander the fragmentation becomes, the easier it is to stray from remembering our shared humanity. The more we attach to any sense of self righteousness, that “our way is the way”, the more the trickery of the inner critic, hate and nihilism seeps into our mind, and thus, the way in which we behave and treat one another. The tighter we grip, the stronger the the pattern etches into our consciousness, our nervous systems and our cultural karma. The grasping and pushing away are strategic mechanisms in times of uncertainty. A coping that often can give the illusion of groundedness. Yet, when we slow ourselves down, allow the clouds to pass by, loosen our attachments, we begin to see the shattering impacts of the disconnection to each other.
Daniel Seigel, clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine and executive director of the Mindsight Institute, says,
“Our state of mind can turn even neutral comments into fighting words, distorting what we hear to fit what we fear.”
Distorting and illusion have their own dance. One I call, and you may resonate with, smoke and mirrors. Smoke and mirrors is best described as “the obscuring or embellishing of the truth of a situation with misleading or irrelevant information.” The current landscape aligns to the perception of misleading and obscuration of truth, and it has me asking bigger questions.
I wonder….
If you look at your viewpoint of the current environment of America, and of the world, how does it impact your understanding and relationship to shared humanity and the wellness of all beings? What arises within you when you ask yourself this question? Have you found yourself having thoughts such as: “They deserve it. I don’t care. It’s not my problem. I am right. They are wrong. It was the lesser of two evils. I had no choice. It’s not my job to help others. I am a part of the solution to a better world. I am doing what I think is best. I don’t know what to do. I did the best I could. I could do more. I am scared. I feel guilty. I am confused. I am outraged. I feel hopeless. I still have hope. Hope is leading me. I am in shock. I want to hide from it all.”
When uncertainty and unpredictability present in your life, a storm is a foot, how do you respond? How do you find yourself reacting to others? When the volatile whirlwind of anger, judgment, hurt and fear greet you, what impact does it have on your inner relationship to yourself, to humanity, to Creator, to God?
How do we see ourselves and each other clearly when truth lies in the murky shadow of the storm?
Seigel also states,
“Inviting our thoughts and feelings into awareness allows us to learn from them rather than be driven by them.”
And yet, out beyond awareness is something we desperately need right now — that of personal responsibility and radical accountability. Accountability ask us to understand how to remain clear and connected to ourselves, our compassionate wisdom, even in the midst, especially in the throes of a dismembering. Personal responsibility ask us to understand our own inner storms, and how we have been and are a part of the collective upheaval.
Reading our own tea leaves is a nuance. One that insist we wake up to the suffering we continue to perpetuate, the patterns we have woven and continue to weave. Is our expressive fabric providing change for a more whole hearted and equanimous world? Or are our comforts, also easily disguised as familiar suffering, going to become the demise of healing, both individual and collective. What changes do you need to make on a micro level to re-align yourself again and again to our shared humanity? When you take your last breath in this human vessel, what is it that you want to take with you? What do you want to leave behind?
As Within, So Without
The expression, “as above, so below. As within, so without. As the universe, so the soul” is considered to be a universal truth or law which shows us that the outside world is a reflection of our inner world. It signifies the principle of correspondence, meaning that the universe is interconnected and reflects itself on all levels. What we feel and what we believe has a tendency to manifest in our lives.
In 2020, in the introduction of the global shutdown, a friend told me how they were “seeing people’s true colors” from the hate, judgements and fear that was abounding. I remember thinking, and probably saying it out loud to my friend, “perhaps it is not the true colors we are experiencing, but the unprocessed pain and wounds of people erupting in very ugly and unsupported ways.” I have seen politics in the same light.
Politics, simply put, is the set of activities that are associated with making decisions in a country, groups, or relations among individuals, such as the distribution of status or resources, especially the debate or conflict among individuals or parties having or hoping to achieve power. When we read this description, especially in my line of work, words that lift from the page are “relation” and “power.” How have we been and how are we in relationship to our own personal power? Our individual experiences of coping with unresolved wounds are a direct expression on a collective level of the political dynamics both now and in our past narration of humanity.
Consider this…
Where have you used power over other people (family, co-workers, children, groups) to get what you want? To get your point across or needs met? Where have you used your pain and suffering to pull people into you? To feel a sense of love and comfort? Where have you sacrificed who you really are as a means to be liked or to feel safe in your environment? Where have you checked out into a pseudo comfort of numbing, binging, dissociating and being in auto-pilot to cope with the overwhelm of your feelings?
There is a larger thread revealed when we look at our own ways of being in relation with one another, with ourselves, with the land, the water, the air, the animals — with all sentient beings. We unveil the truth of our turmoil, and understand that the systems at play are ones we keep reinforcing. The “sides” of politics, in the American culture, is an illusion perpetuating the fragmenting pattern to remain in effective motion. No matter where you may land, on which side you have identified with or don’t identify with, upon what I call “the never ending tennis match of America”, I have an invitation for you.
Notice, what you are holding onto right now? What is your stance? Now, step back a bit and observe the impact it is having on your relationship to your heart and on your relationship with others. You will know if the grip is strong, for a wave of heat, a trigger, will meet your body when you feel your lens or choice inquired about. Watch closely how the million year old power dynamic of our human narrative may be withering away your own heart’s compassion and love, carving within you a power dynamic of being right rather than curious, or as Brene Brown says, of “being right rather than getting it right.”
From my perspective, “getting it right” is a matter of stepping out of our comfort zone and looking at all the ways we are blocked, shadowed and barricading ourselves from the infinite possibility of our own expansion to learn, truly listen and understand the truth — to understand what the truth actually is. It is Sojourner Truth, an American abolitionist and activist for African-American civil rights, women's rights, and alcohol temperance in the 1900’s who said,
“The truth is powerful and it prevails.”
And so I say, may it prevail!
These are times that require a drastic level of discernment. While the rainstorm may have passed, and literally it did where I live in San Diego, CA, another one will come. More storms are on the horizon. Collective awakening is just as messy as our own individual psycho-spiritual awakening.
How, then, are you existing in the chaos and dismemberment of the current landscape?
If your higher self was standing behind you right now, how would you feel? What would your higher self say to you?
And are you able to discern between your ego telling you to be right and your higher self reminding you how to get it right from your heart?
I am aware that I am proposing questions that ask of you a certain level of stamina and dedication to answer. And yet, I would not be speaking my heart’s song if I did not bring them forth into our shared humanity. For I know fierce compassion, which like hope, is a beacon of light in times of uncertainty and pain. Fierce compassion is led from our heart, that unwavering truth always striving to get it right, to learn and re-learn, to move out of the shadow.
Our shared fierce compassion and hope is an antidote in the storms. Do not mistake hope as the same as denial. It is not. In fact, hope has been defined as “a more nuanced, cognitive process that involves well-known psychological concepts, such as goal-setting, agency, and cognitive restructuring.” Thema Bryant, a past president of the American Psychology Association said this about hope,
“You can recognize something’s wrong, but also that it’s not the end of the story. Hope isn’t a denial of what is, but a belief that the current situation is not all that can be.”
Our human story doesn’t have to end this way. We can rewrite and create a new pattern. It is something we must, and we get too, create from the inside out.
If you are looking for a safe, open minded container to deepen your understanding to yourself and self healing, it would be my honor to work with you. The therapeutic counseling of Depth Hypnosis aims to support each individual in their own self healing capabilities, understanding that all relationships show us our own cycling within ourselves, learning how to bridge our own heart’s truth and compassion into the world.
I offer 20 minute complimentary calls to explore working together.
Community Gatherings
Community and connection is a salve to confusion, hurt and chaos both around us and within us. It reinvigorates our commitments to walk a path off whole-heartedness. When we come together, we open ourselves up to remember our shared humanity and interconnectedness. You are warmly invited to attend the Livestream (online) and also in-person event in North County San Diego to widen your mind and heart and receive in community.
Sacred Journey is scheduled for Saturday, March 29th at 6p PT.
This event meets on or near the New Moon. Each gathering is different as the cycles and energies shift with the moon. A few things to expect from these gatherings are, but not limited too, education (dharma talk) on the energies of the time and how to lean into a greater understanding of ourselves with journaling and insight inquiry, somatic movements and meditation, soundscape integration and a hypno-therapeutic guided inner journey for self healing and deep restoration.
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Let's inspire more people to embrace whole-hearted living, learning and loving in action. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to serve you.
Take care of you.
Take care of one another.
Much Love,
Kristina Renée